Up early, quick coffee and bread with jam, then on the road to explore Museo Archeologico di Vibo Valentia. While only about 7 miles away, it was a good 30 minute drive up the face of a mountain and through the town. Waze, yet again, tried taking me on a road that was impassible because now it was a building. Anyone know how to report that to them?
We arrived at the Museum, which is housed in a Norman-Swabian era castle. Parking was sort of loosey goosey, so we just pulled up to the side of the castle and parked near the entrance ramp. No one stopped us, so hey! Winning!
While the babbies were unloaded from the vehicle, I walked down to the ticket hut and got us each a €3 ticket (the babbies were free) and we wandered in for our adventure.
Obstacle 1: Entry Stairs
You stand, looking at a castle. There are stairs leading up to the doorway to the castle, but there is also a dirt ramp that, while steep, is not impassible. Do you go: (S)tairs (R)amp
We chose Ramp.
OBSTACLE 1 CONQUERED
Obstacle 2: Stairs on the other Side of the Entry
SURPRISE! You thought you got past the entry stairs! MUAHAHAHHA! NO! There are stairs right INSIDE THE DOOR AS WELL! MUAHAHAHAHAH! You can: (A)bandon this quest (C)arry the stroller up the stairs
P and I carried stroller (containing babbies) up those stairs to the landing at the top.
OBSTACLE 2 CONQUERED
Obstacle 3: Dirty Diaper
You have reached the top of the stairs. You see a small foyer. Uh oh! Smells like someone pooped! Do you: (C)hange the diaper right here (F)ind somewhere a little less Foyer
We opted to find somewhere a little less Foyer.
From the Foyer, you can go: (F)orward to an open courtyard (L)eft to a room with exhibits (R)ight to a different room with exhibits (U)p to the second floor
We wandered out into the open courtyard, where it seemed they were setting up for some sort of event.
Obstacle 4: Little Italian Lady
But wait, we’ve not conquered Obstacle 3 yet!
Too bad. A little Italian lady comes to greet you. You figure out that she is pretty much telling you that the museum is back inside and that you should go that way. Do you: (U)se the magic translation app to say you need to change a diaper (G)ive up and go back inside
I used the magic translation app.
The little Italian lady absolutely refuses to let you use one of the benches in the courtyard. Instead, she directs a little Italian man to find you a chair somewhere more private. Do you: (S)tand, confused and do nothing (A)ccept her offer
P accepted her offer and proceeded to change the diaper.
OBSTACLE 4 CONQUERED
OBSTACLE 3 CONQUERED
Obstacle 5: ALL the Little Italian Ladies
By the time you are done changing the diaper, a small group of Little Italian Ladies has realized there are not one, but TWO babbies in the stroller. While Original Little Italian Lady explains that you should leave the stroller here, other Little Italian Ladies coo and fawn over the babbies asking questions of Original Little Italian Lady who, after getting their names, forcibly corrects New Little Italian Ladies that no, one is a boy and one is a girl. Do you: (T)ake the babbies in arms and explore the museum (R)un for your lives
P and L each picked up a babbie and we began exploring the museum.
OBSTACLE 5 CONQUERED
The museum itself was pretty cool. Only the first section, about the creation of pottery thousands of years ago, had English translations. But that was okay, because the rest was just dates and artifacts. COOL COOL artifacts (see photo gallery below). They also mixed in modern art in each exhibit room. Things like space-age looking chess boards, and crazy bent and knotted nylon filament that, if you actually looked at it, made the shape of a dog’s head in the middle of the chaos.
Overall, super cool museum.
Getting out was much easier than getting in, as P & L carried the babbies back down the stairs, and I off-roaded the empty stroller down on my own.
We finished the tour on the patio of the cafe/bar right outside the castle entrance, then headed home with a quick stop at grocery store for supplies.
I made an improvised Muffuletta for lunch, and P made a wonderful interpretation of a local pasta dish with garbanzo beans for dinner.
That evening, over dinner, L was telling us about a treat they give children from Schmetterlinglund (where she’s from) on their birthdays. Now, she said Dickmann’s, but we heard Dick Monsters. Which, it turns out, is appropriate.
You see, the trick is to eat these little wiener shaped treats (which are filled with marshmallow fluff) without using your hands. Just ponder that for a while…